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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28320510">Evermore</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/loser_angel/pseuds/loser_angel'>loser_angel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Comfort, Completely scrap canon, Fluff, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:21:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,352</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28320510</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/loser_angel/pseuds/loser_angel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Each chapter is a fic based on a different song from Evermore, they not related to each other</p><p>ch.1 is Willow</p><p>“He thought leaving, even if only for a few weeks, would save him some hurt. Get ahold of his emotions because he knows getting over Dean is out of the question.<br/>Dean doesn’t let him leave. Cas is glad.”</p><p>***</p><p>Dean and Cas find comfort in each other, finally having the space and time to build their happiness around each other. They’re in love. It’s what they deserve. They just have to figure out how to say it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Willow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I love Taylor Swift and destiel, so here you go :)</p><p>Happy holidays btw</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You’re everywhere Cas.” Dean says, and Cas doesn’t have the energy to try to understand what he means. It sounds an awful lot like a complaint, but Dean wasn’t complaining about Cas. Not really. </p><p>“So you want me to leave then?” Cas says, more of a statement then a question, looking up at Dean with a piercing gaze. Although the bite of the question is there, Cas finds that he’s able to keep his expression blank, unwilling to let Dean see the extent of his emotions. He’s not offended though.</p><p>“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Dean grumbles, he crosses the room with a hand running through his hair. Cas tilts his head up like he’s challenging that statement and Dean sighs. “I want you here, Cas. Of course I do.” </p><p>“So why don’t you act like it?” </p><p>“I’m- Fuck Cas, I’m not good at... at-“</p><p>“Wanting something for yourself.” Cas finishes for him. Dean looks scared, but he doesn’t deny it. </p><p>“I want you here. And I’m sorry if I made you feel like you didn’t.” </p><p>“I understand, Dean. You’re selfless to a fault. You gave everything you had to Sam, you’ve sacrificed your life for strangers even when they don’t deserve your kindness. You deserve some good for yourself. It’s not repayment, it’s not because of anything. It’s just because you’re human, you get to be selfish too sometimes.”</p><p>“Cas Im plenty selfish.”</p><p>“Not with things like this,”</p><p>“What is this?”</p><p>“You tell me,” Cas lifts an eyebrow. He’s hesitant too though. He’s nervous. Dean licks his lips and nods to himself before looking right at Cas.</p><p>“I want you here Cas. But I want you to want to be here.”</p><p>Cas gazes at Dean softly, his smile gentle. Looking at Dean, he has every freckle committed to memory. He has Dean Winchester memorized. He could get lost in looking at Dean. He has many times before. </p><p>He looks desperate, his eyes hopeful and scared and a little bit angry. His face is the most open Cas has seen from him in a while, he’s letting himself feel, but even more, he’s letting Cas see. He’s still as beautiful as ever. Still Dean Winchester. Maybe this is his breaking point, and maybe he’s already hit his breaking point. Maybe this is the beginning of rebuilding. That makes Cas heart flutter up in hope.</p><p>“I want to be here Dean.” Cas says. Dean nods finally and offers a sincere, but tight smile. </p><p>“Good. You’re staying.” So Cas drops his duffel bag back on his bed and nods. He’s still not sure this is the best decision, but he looks at a Dean again and thinks that if Dean never stops looking at him like that, he’ll never try to walk away again. He wants this. Of course he does, but he knows Dean and he knows he’s not going to get it. </p><p>Maybe it was selfish of him to want someone who so clearly isn’t ready for this, but Cas is tired of being selfless. Like he told Dean, they could both use some selfishness on the grand scale. Cas thinks Dean is pretty grand. And maybe he’s wrong. Maybe Dean is ready.</p><p>He thought leaving, even if only for a few weeks, would save him some hurt. Maybe it would give him the space to get over Dean in his newly human form. It had all hit him at once and it left Cas feeling bare and shaken. Now graceless, he couldn’t control his desires, he couldn’t regulate his body the way he used to be able to. He couldn’t stop his cheeks from flushing when Dean smiled at him. He couldn’t stop his heart from jumping when Dean hugged him. He couldn’t stop goosebumps rising on his arms when Dean let his hand rest on his back. </p><p>Then they had fought. It was stupid and petty, but Cas took it as an excuse to get some space. Get ahold of his emotions because he knows getting over Dean is out of the question. </p><p>Dean doesn’t let him leave. Cas is glad. </p><p>Dean nods, Cas Can see the hesitation and the fear and the hope and guilt and... everything. He can feel the way Dean has been ripped apart countless times, every day since he was four years old. Cas feels like he’s been torn apart as well. They can smooth over their scars together, heaven and hell know they themselves have been the reason for some of them.</p><p>The next few days are still tense, but not with anger. Dean seems to have realized that an emotional boundary was crossed and Cas has realized it too. Dean isn’t ignoring him anymore, for which he’s glad, and he values spending time with Dean, even if every glance sets his heart on fire. </p><p>Dean teaches Cas to cook and soon enough they’re moving around the kitchen together like they were made for each other. They still haven’t acknowledged it, but Dean puts his hand on Cas’ hip when he goes around him, and Cas lets Dean feed the sauce to him when he taste tests it, rather than simply taking the spoon himself. </p><p>Then they’re going on errands together, Dean says he needs to show Cas how they do things, show him which brand of shampoo they like and where to find the good beer. But then Dean continues to accompany Cas, just because it takes half the time with two people and when Cas finds some odd organic snack to try, Dean gets to bicker with him about it. </p><p>Dean let’s Cas drive sometimes, and he says not to tell Sam. He also says not to tell Sam that they rotate who chooses the music, and that sometimes on Deans turn, he chooses Taylor Swift. </p><p>Cas can only imagine how they must look to the world around them. Like they’re falling apart, crashing and burning, going out in loud explosions of light and dust and fire. Like they’re falling into each other rather than apart. They’re crashing down, but they’re building a new foundation on the debris. They’re communicating for once, and they must look like they’re late to the game, maybe this should have happened years ago, but for once they’re self sacrificial relationship has become healthier.</p><p>They’re moving, but they’re moving together, roots strongly woven into the ground, going far deeper than anyone might expect. Or maybe everyone expected it.</p><p>Cas has nightmares now that he’s human. He knows Dean does too, but neither of them seek comfort with each other. Another line to cross. Sometimes they talk about it. Dark kitchens and cold coffee and whispered tears with shaking hands. It’s over quick and when they end up in their separate beds, it’s feels even more lonely somehow. </p><p>One night Cas has his head on his pillow, eyes closed, he’s on his side facing away from the door, but he hasn’t slept yet. He hears the door open and he can feel the shift of air. He doesn’t need to look to know it’s Dean. He’s about to sit up when the floorboards creak and the door clicks shut again. Then there’s a dip in the bed and Cas rolls over lazily. Dean stands up again and wipes his palms on his pajama pants. </p><p>“Sorry.” He whispers. Cas squints up at him in the dark and lifts the blankets for him. </p><p>There’s only a moment where Cas can almost hear all of Deans thoughts, if only he were still an angel, before Dean crawls under the covers next to Cas. He keeps space between them, but Cas is too tired for his shit, he throws an arm around Dean’s waist and rubs his hand over Dean’s shoulder. </p><p>“Nightmare?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he says. Cas knows he doesn’t want to talk about it, so he just nods and pulls Dean closer. </p><p>They both fall asleep easier that night. </p><p>In the morning, Cas wakes up to a hand in his hair and an arm around his shoulders. Dean is awake and Cas guesses he has been for a little while now. </p><p>“Morning.” Cas grumbles and Dean chuckles.</p><p>“G’morning,” he whispers.</p><p>They go on a hunt that day. A ghoul a few hours away. Sam and Eileen ride in the backseat together so Cas takes shotgun and Dean lets him pick the music. He puts on Dean’s top 13 Zepp traxx. </p><p>When they get back it’s past dinner and they all shower and clean up which means it’s late by the time they’re all settled, but Dean cooks a meal anyway, calling Jack from his room and they all eat at ten pm together.</p><p>The hunt was tiring, so Sam and Eileen go right to sleep, Jack takes over the Dean-cave and Dean lets him. He isn’t ready to go to bed, so he gets his jacket and goes outside. </p><p>He sits in baby for a little while, no planning on going anywhere. Cas joins him, tapping on the window to let Dean know he’s there before he climbs into the passenger seat.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Cas asks.</p><p>“Sitting.”</p><p>“For any reason in particular?”</p><p>“Not really.”</p><p>So they sit together in silence. It’s not sad, actually they feel happy for the first time in a while. Cas let’s himself think about it, this feeling. Dean makes him happy. Dean has always made him happy. The silence doesn’t last long though, and this time it’s Dean who interrupts it. </p><p>“Thank you. For staying. For saving me. And Sam. For... just for everything.”</p><p>“You don’t need to thank me, Dean. I’m happy to do all of that.”</p><p>“I know. But I don’t want you to, okay? No more ‘happy to bleed for the winchesters’ shit, got it? You don’t deserve that. I’m not gonna ask that of you, not if I don’t need to. You gotta take care of yourself, man. I appreciate it, but I’d rather have you alive, so no more sacrifices.”</p><p>“No promises. And you too.” </p><p>“Fone.” Dean nods. “No deals, no dying, just... living. Finally, now that we get the chance.”</p><p>“I think we deserve this.” Cas nods. </p><p>“I hope so. You deserve more than this,”</p><p>“I don’t want more than this though.” Cas says. Dean smiles and nods like he knew Cas would say that. </p><p>“I’m glad you stayed.”</p><p>“I would’ve come back.”</p><p>“Still.”</p><p>“I’m glad I stayed too.”</p><p>They look forward again and there’s not much to see, but the quiet is comforting. Neither of them want to go back inside, it would mean they go to separate beds and separate rooms and Cas thinks he’d rather not sleep at all. </p><p>“It’s late.” Cas whispers. </p><p>“It is.”</p><p>“Do you think you’ll have nightmares again?”</p><p>“Probably.” Dean shrugs. They aren’t looking at each other, Dean is picking at his fingernails and Cas is staring down at the dashboard.</p><p>“Me too.”</p><p>“We could always... I mean... it’s nice to have someone else there sometimes.”</p><p>“It is.” Cas agrees. </p><p>“I like my memory foam though.”</p><p>“I have no attachment to my bed.” Cas shrugs.</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>Cas looks at Dean who still doesn’t look back, but he’s smiling and blushing and Cas is secretly aching to reach across the seat and hold Dean’s hand. Begging Dean to take his hand. Cas would throw all his plans out the window for Dean. Technically he has before. He’s thrown out a whole army for Dean. He would do it again too. He’d follow Dean to the ends of the Earth. </p><p>Cas gets the sense that Dean would do the same for Cas.</p><p>Dean looks back at him and neither of them look away. He reaches out and takes his hand. Thumb smoothing over his knuckles.</p><p>They head back inside and they don’t talk about it, but Dean loads up the dishes into the dishwasher and Cas wipes down the counters and then Dean turns and leans back against the counter, Cas does the same across from him.</p><p>They’re not quite chest to chest, but they’re close enough to touch and Dean looks scared. Cas feels serene, but his heart is wild. Dean swallows. </p><p>“Cas, I-“</p><p>Cas reaches a hand to Dean’s arm, calming him. Dean smiles shakily.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” He whispers. Cas shakes his head and takes Deans hand, bringing it up to his lips and kissing his knuckles gently. </p><p>“Don’t be. You’ve always done what you thought was best. As have I. We deserve this.” Dean nods, tears springing to his eyes. He steps closer and hugs Cas, holding him like he’s never been held before. Cas could die happily in Deans arms. </p><p>When he pulls away, it’s with hands on the other’s face and lips quickly finding each other, gentle and slow and full of emotion.</p><p>“I love you, Dean Winchester”</p><p>“I love you too,” Dean says, voice cracking. </p><p>They’re both grinning through tears and kissing again. They’re both walking towards Dean’s room. </p><p>It’s easy, but Cas isn’t surprised at how easy it is to be with Dean.  They’ve fought through life and death and more death to get here. They deserve a little bit of easy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Champagne Problems</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You had a speech, you're speechless<br/>Love slipped beyond your reaches<br/>And I couldn't give a reason<br/>Champagne problems</p><p>~Champagne Problems, Taylor Swift</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've decided to make this a chapter thing, there might be more updates but i'm going at my own pace<br/>the chapters aren't related to each other<br/>and I hope you enjoy <br/>&lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s not his fault that the world still feels like it’s ending. </p><p>To be fair, it’s not like Sam is really celebrating either. They had gotten back to the bunker and Sam immediately had his phone in his hand, waiting for Eileen to pick up his facetime call. They had sat down later that night with a glass of whiskey and let it sink in.</p><p>Every moment of their lives, the ghosts they hunted while John was missing, the demons, the angels, all of it. Chuck was gone. They were free. </p><p>Dean still felt trapped. </p><p>They aren’t talking, just taking slow sips of liquor and reflecting, whether they’re sitting in grief or rejoice is hard to tell. Dean can’t stop his mind from playing over Cas’ speech. He thinks of every interaction he can remember, trying to find a hint, any sign that Cas had felt this way. Trying to make sense of the confession. Trying to convince himself that he didn’t mean it like that. He had been right all along, he never had a chance. But he did have a chance.</p><p>He sees it in every memory he has with Cas. It’s obvious, and looking back, he knows that everyone else had known it too. Had he been just as obvious as Cas? Was that why everyone was always fed up with them? </p><p>Cas had told him they were real. Amidst every broken, shattered frame, every set up and every mocking move Chuck made. Cas had been real. He had always been the only real thing in Dean’s life, and somewhere he had known that all along. </p><p>He had left Cas standing there, crestfallen and alone, because he couldn’t accept the fact that someone cared about him for real.</p><p>He looks up at Sam, who takes another sip of his drink before looking back sadly. Look at them now. This had always been their destiny, hadn’t it? From the minute Sammy was born. But really, it only started when Dean went to steal him away from college. They were alone then, and they were alone now.</p><p>“We have people, Dean. We have family.” Sam says, as if he can read Dean’s mind.</p><p>“He’s dead, Sam.”</p><p>“I know.” Sam whispers. He’s grieving too, Dean reminds himself. Cas was Sam’s best friend too. “But we still have Jody and the girls, Bobby, Charlie,” </p><p>“We should have them over. Dinner or something.” Dean says, his heart isn’t in it. He thinks it was gracious of Sam to not mention Eileen. Whether it was subconscious or on purpose, it made Dean’s heart break further. Cas really had been what Eileen was to Sam. Even if they never said it. </p><p>He had meant to say it.</p><p>He thought they would come out alive, and then when he almost lost Cas in purgatory, he was going to say it then… he thought they would have time. He thought they could dance around forever.</p><p>Dean taps his fingers on his glass in contemplation. He can’t stop thinking. He can’t get Cas out of his head.</p><p>“Dean, are you okay?”</p><p>Dean only nods. He’s been holding himself together. He’s been stone faced and stoic. He’s had enough. Sam has always said Dean could talk to him if he needed it, and Dean thought talking was bullshit. He can’t keep this in his head.</p><p>“He didn’t deserve this,”</p><p>“No one ever does,”</p><p>“He did everything… he gave up everything for us, for me. We didn’t give him shit in return.”</p><p>“He knows we cared, Dean.”</p><p>“He didn’t.” Dean shakes his head. “He told me-” Dean can’t finish. Sam looks at him, frowning.</p><p>“He told you…?” Sam says gently.</p><p>“The deal was that it would take him when he was happy.” Dean says, voice hard again. Sam looks at him for a minute, eyes wide and confused, “Loving me is what killed him.”</p><p>“Dean,” Sam’s voice is dripping with sympathy. “He chose this,”</p><p>“He shouldn’t have. “</p><p>“But he did. You can’t change that. He obviously thought you were worth it.” Sam says. “And you are. We stopped Chuck,”</p><p>“But I didn’t even- I should’ve… stopped him.”</p><p>“You couldn’t have changed his mind.”</p><p>“I know.” Dean sighs, letting his stony expression fall apart a little more with every word. “Did you… did you know?” Dean asks, look up at Sam. “That he loved me?”</p><p>“You didn’t know?”</p><p>“I thought… I knew he cared, I didn’t know.” Dean nods, everyone else had known. They could have had this. “He didn’t know either.”</p><p>“We could try to get him back.”</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“I’m not sure.”</p><p>Over the next few days, there’s more grief. They don’t talk about it again, but Sam sees how Dean pours himself over books in a way he never has before. When he’s not researching, he’s drinking, or he’s driving, mixtape in and windows down, or he’s fixing up Baby with the radio on, listening for odd weather patterns, weird fires, anything angelic. Anything that sounds like Cas.</p><p>Sam and Eileen try to keep it discreet, even after Dean tells him to stop with the hiding, and now they hang around the bunker more, which makes Dean proud as much as it makes his heart ache. </p><p>They talk to Jody and Donna on the phone a few more times, Claire too, but Dean can hardly handle hearing her voice. She sounds nothing like Cas, but she is, sort of, his daughter. She tells him she’s sorry for his loss and that she misses him too. Dean throws his phone across the room as soon as the call is over. </p><p>He sits at the table with the third or fourth or fifth beer of the night and he pulls out his wallet, which really is a sad excuse for a wallet, but there’s a pocket knife in one of the pockets and he taps it on the table a few times, considering. Then he flips it open and scratches ‘Castiel’ into the table next to the rest of their names. It feels off, because Cas didn’t write it himself. Or maybe because Castiel isn’t ‘Castiel’ anymore, he’s just ‘Cas’. But he is ‘of god’. Not in relation to Chuck… he’s just… divine. Godly and powerful and divine in every sense of the word.</p><p>Castiel is ‘of god’ in the same way that he defied God more than anyone has ever dared to. Dean is too tired and too drunk to find the tragic beauty in Castiel’s name or story or life and death. So instead he closes the pocket knife and tucks it away. </p><p>There’s a picture in his wallet, because of course there is. There’s one of Sammy from when they were young. In the pocket next to that one is another picture of him and Cas. Cowboy hats on. He had asked someone passing by to take a picture of them, Dean had his arm over Cas’ shoulder and they were both smiling. They were happy.</p><p>They were happy because they were with each other. Dean had just gotten Cas back. He didn’t tell him then, even after knowing what he had lost. He didn’t say it.</p><p>Dean thinks he’ll have to go down to the storage room to get some ingredients for a spell. He walks the halls, trying to forget about what had taken place there, and then hating himself for wanting to forget any memory that had Cas in it. He finds himself outside the door. </p><p>He doesn’t look at anything other than the shelves right in front of his face, but when he leaves, he glances back, freezing with his eyes stuck to the empty room. He should have said something back. He should have told Cas. He should have stopped him. He should have reached out and held on and not let go. But he didn’t, Cas was gone and Dean watched him go. </p><p>He doesn’t realize it’s been a few minutes until Sam has his hand on his arm and is pulling him out of the room.</p><p>“Dean? Hey! Hey, You okay?”</p><p>“Hmm?” Dean let’s Sam drag him away from the doorway distractedly. “I’m fine. Sorry, I’m good.” He straightens up.</p><p>“What were you doing down there?”</p><p>“I needed…” Dean realizes he didn’t actually get what he needed. “I needed something for a spell,”</p><p>“I’ll get it, where’s the list,” </p><p>Another few days pass, Dean prays to Jack every day, simple things like how he got the cereal he liked from the store or how he mopes he’ll come down for a family dinner soon… even if the whole family won’t be here. He also asks, only a few times because he knows Jack is doing what he can, if Cas can be saved. He never really gets an answer.</p><p>He prays to Cas too, mundane things like how he found Miracle on the side of the road one day, or about Sam and Eileen and Jody and Claire. He also prays to Cas about other things. Feelings he would’ve never been able to express to Cas had he been looking him in the eyes. He hasn’t said the words he means, he’s not sure he ever will, not without Cas to hear them for real, but he thinks if Cas could hear his prayers, he would understand.</p><p>Dean thinks he’s pretty fucked up, but Cas thought he was worth it, so he keeps trying to be happy. He doesn’t think happiness really exists for him if Cas isn’t a part of it. Not truly.</p><p>It’s been nearly a month when Jack shows up at the bunker. Dean wakes up one morning and he’s eating cereal in the kitchen like he still lived here. Dean almost tears up. He does tear up when he hugs him. He’s his son, after all.</p><p>“We’ve missed you, kid.”</p><p>“I’ve missed you too.” Jack grins. “Where’s Sam?”</p><p>“He spent the night with Eileen. He’ll be back around midday.”</p><p>“I suppose we can do this without him then, we didn’t want to wait any longer.”</p><p>“Wait, We? Do what?”</p><p>“I’ve been rebuilding heaven. Part of reconstructing heaven meant I would need the help of many angels, most of whom had died.”</p><p>“Jack…”</p><p>“Castiel has been helping me.”</p><p>“He’s okay?” Dean asks, most of his brain has jumped ship, going into shock or panic or hope or an odd mix of all three, his chest squeezes when Jack grins.</p><p>“Yes, he’s alive.”</p><p>“Where is he?” Dean asks, voice small and eyes wide. </p><p>“He’s nearly finished creating your heaven. He wanted it to be perfect. I think he was mostly stalling though, I cut off angels from prayers until heaven is complete, I realize now that Castiel should have been the exception.”</p><p>“So Cas didn’t hear any of what I said?”</p><p>“No, I don’t believe so, I’m sorry,”</p><p>“Where is he?” Dean asks again. Would Cas even want to see him? If he’s been alive all this time why hasn’t he come down?</p><p>“He’s in heaven. You should call him now, he will hear you.” Jack says, then he returns to his bowl of cereal. Dean stares in shock at Jack, the information hardly fully processed before he’s sending out a quick but urgent prayer for Cas to get down here ‘right fucking now’.</p><p>And he’s standing there, trenchcoat looking new and hair as ruffled as ever. He has his wings back.</p><p>“Cas?”</p><p>“Hello, Dean.”</p><p>Then he’s wrapping his arms around Cas desperately. </p><p>“I’ll check on Sam,” Jack says, taking his cereal with him when he disappears. Dean hardly notices though because Cas isn’t in the empty. He’s okay.</p><p>“Don’t ever fucking do that again,” Dean says as soon as he can get his mouth to work.</p><p>“I’m sorry,”</p><p>“No more deals, no more sacrifices, no more jumping ship, got it?”</p><p>“Understood.”</p><p>Dean hugs him again and once it becomes awkward, he holds on for a little bit longer. When Dean does pull away he’s misty eyes and hopeful, clutching onto the trenchcoat like if he lets go Cas will just disappear.</p><p>“You’re really here?”</p><p>“I am,” </p><p>“Are you staying?”</p><p>“If you’ll let me.” Cas says, and it sounds so hopeful and nervous that Dean wants to hug him again, and he berates himself for making Cas think that there was ever a chance of Dean saying no to that.</p><p>“Of course,” He says, his voice is rough and final and his hand comes up to hold Cas’ cheek. It’s not soft, but the touch still feels gentle. “Of course you can stay.”</p><p>“Good,” Cas says. Dean is looking at Cas like he’s not convinced he’s real, he moves his hand from Cas’ face to the back of his neck.</p><p>“I want you to know…” He starts, swallows roughly then tries again, “Everything you said about me, every wonderful thing you said you feel about me, I feel it too.”</p><p>Cas looks at Dean, eyes wide and hopeful but apprehensive. “I don’t follow.”</p><p>“I love you too Cas.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry this is wildly unedited, I want it out of my face<br/>it's not too bad tho (I hope) lmk your thoughts</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Evermore is wonderful, I’ve been trying to write a fic based on it for so long, this one sorta just... happened, please lmk what you think 💚💙</p></blockquote></div></div>
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